me: I made a bowl of Crispix this morning.

HB: Awww... my baby the chef.

On his Myers Briggs Personality results...

HB: I'm Severus Sluuurp.

HB: I'm gonna thaw some mother fucking chicken. brb

Me: the cutest doctor ever is performing a spinal tap in front of me.

HB: Tell him you want to tap that

HB: You know, subtly.

Me: I think that's what he's telling the nursing student

HB: Well, if the nursing student tells you that too, then things work out.  Transitively

Me: She's not my type.

HB: Greater cause, dude

HB: See, I can't be feeling too bad if I'm up for some let's-kill-a-hobo jokes!

Me: So when we get married, remember how we discussed maybe picking a new last name and using that?

Me: What name did you have in mind?

HB: Danger

Me: What?

HB: Yeah. Mr. Danger and Dr. Danger

Me: Oh... You're serious

HB: Well, 1) It has to be easy to say 2) It has to be easy to spell 3) It has to be awesome.

Me: While I agree with that, do you really think I'll be able to command any authority in front of a classroom full of freshmen while my name is Dr. Danger?

While helping me with studies, HB has been assisting by quizzing me on the IPA chart vowel quadrilateral.

HB: It sounds  like some French guy being tickled in weird places.